Hurry Up and Wait!

 

Ok, so I'm on several adoption mailing lists where those going through the same process as we are can chat and ask questions and share our frustrations. This weeks biggest concern is the long wait.... Here's a snippet of someone's response to the frustrations:

"Do whatever you need to do to get through the wait. Cry, eat, lean on us, vent, lock the door to your nursery, talk to your high chairs and teddy bears, whatever it takes! It will HAPPEN!!!! When, I do not know but it will!!!!! Hang in there guys and each difficult day that passes is yet another day closer to your very own blessing..."

I just wanted to share this with everyone so you can understand part of the frustration that comes with adoption. Whoever said "You're taking the easy route by adopting." is sadly mistaken. We, adoptive parents, have our own kind of stretch marks and hormonal ups and downs. One day you're "scheduled" to travel in the spring and the next day something has changed and your approximate timeframe for travel has been pushed back 3-4 months. It's all part of the process and it's something we adoptive parents go through.

Several of the moms-to-be on our list have been known to put the car seat in their cars and take their pets and stuffed animals for a ride. Another mom-to-be put a teddy bear in her stroller and took it for a jog around the neighborhood. Another put all the baby stuff in the nursery, locked the door and gave the key to her neighbors with strict instructions to not give her the key until she had a referral.

It's hard - this adoption process. We are at the mercy of so many people on a completely different side of the world. Our friends and family continue to have babies and we find ourselves living vicariously through their experiences. We also witness those families at the mall or grocery store that just can't seem to treat their children with love and kindness, those families that yell and scream at their children... those instances make our stomachs turn and our hearts ache. I'm not saying those that aren't adopting don't experience these same things but I've noticed those feelings have gotten magnified since we started the adoption process and the longer we wait the more intense those feelings become.

Right now, these are normal emotions. If I start dressing up my cats in baby clothes and walking them around the neighborhood... well, I hear this is normal too! If I get to that point - I pray my family and friends will love me enough to tell me I need a vacation! ;-)

Yes, this is a trying time for us. We have completed all our paperwork so we don't have that busy work to keep us occupied and make us feel like we're progressing. Our busy work right now is preparing the house for a baby and before long we'll be able to work in the flower beds and yard. There's nothing we can DO to make this process go any faster. We simply wait.

In the mean time, we stay encouraged that God knows the right timing to bring this baby into our lives. It's certainly not the same time frame I have in mind... but we're learning new things because of this process every day. Some day in the near future we will have our own special blessing in the form of a little girl and none of this waiting will matter. We will have our whole lives to spend together and grow memories together as a family... for that, I can't wait.

Be Blessed!