Friday, October 12, 2007

Thinkin'

I'm sitting here at lunch today and find myself thinking about Emily's birth mom (biological mom). Actually, I've caught myself thinking about her quite a lot this week and I'm not real sure why. I find myself wondering what she looks like, what her personality is like, what her circumstances are/were, what her family is like, what makes her laugh and what makes her cry. I find myself feeling so grateful to her and at the same time feeling that I wish I could share these moments with her. I wish that she could see the end result of her decision to leave Emily in the care of the maternity hospital.

Without knowing the true circumstances, I imagine I will always romanticize in my mind what led her to leave Emily in the hospital's care. These are the things that Cinderella and princess stories are made of. I imagine we will never know the details of the things I ponder because what we do know is just so vague and so much of the information we had was not accurate. We will probably never know if Emily has biological siblings out there and we will never know who her birth mom really was but we can be eternally grateful for the opportunity that she gave us to pour our love out on such a special little girl.

I feel sad that her birthmom will never understand how much joy Emily brings to us on a daily basis or how special I feel just watching her play with toys and chattering to herself. I imagine that on May 14th of each year, her birthmom might remember a special or scary time when she gave birth to our daughter. I wish I could thank her for all that she's given us even though at the time she had no idea who would ultimately become her daughter's new parents. As far as we know, she didn't get a chance to name her baby and had no idea if her daughter would survive such a premature birth.

There will always be a mystery around this part of Emily's life and we will embrace it with her if and when she is ready to learn more. We will keep this young woman in our prayers as I'm sure I'm not the only woman that finds myself daydreaming about my daughter.

2 comments:

SusyTheGirl said...

Aww Jenni. that was a really good post.
It's my thinking that when you find yourself thinking of someone often that person is also thinking of you. :) you never know, huh?

love reading your thoughts like these.

hugs.

Marla Edington said...

Maybe since you're thinking about Emily's birth mom, she needs your prayers. It's understandable why you're thinking about her, but maybe God has a purpose for that at this moment. I hope clear across the world, that lady senses comfort that her little girl is happy and being well taken care of.

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